Larry just passed away. Passed away. What a stupid phrase. Jesus.
It's a gloomy day. I got my haircut this morning and it's bad. It's really, really bad. She shaved too much. She might as well have shaved my whole head because, as of right now, it's mohawk-like. Stupid.
And I stopped at the library on the way home (wearing a hat, of course) and the Catholic-librarian was there, cheerful as ever, until she told me her father is in the hospital and he's dying and I said, "What are you doing here? Give me the librarian's phone #." So I made her leave, I sat there until the librarian came in and then she chatted my ear off for an hour, at least. And then I went to Mom's and picked up clothes she's parting with and holy shit, it's already Noon....
And Larry's dead and the librarian's father is dying and my haircut, as stupid as I look, doesn't matter one little bit. 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 This is Garfield consoling me as I sob at my computer. As she lay down on my head, her butt must have landed on the 0 button. At least her head was at my head and her butt on the keyboard instead of the other way around.
A silver lining because so far, this day sucks ass.
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
"When I'm bored, I send a text to a random number saying, "I hid the body" or "I'm pregnant"."
Did I just say two days ago how the days just fly by? Did I also say, "I know there'll be days when I'm....[insert whatever here]"? Yes, Yes I did and today...well.....happened.
I had my first bad day at work. Day 7 - one week in - and I've already had a bad day. I'm not sure what that means. I'm sure it's only the first of many, many, many more bad days to come. I mean, I can't be perfect all the time, right?
I don't know what happened. I woke up in a fine & dandy mood. I looked good for our staff pictures and I was looking forward to our "Boss' Day" lunch (as much as I can, anyway). But then I got to work and realized- after spending all of Tuesday afternoon literally twiddling my thumbs, bored out of my mind, reading law dictionaries and a legal secretary book from 1981 (yes, 1981. I was in 1st grade. I was 6 years old. *sigh*) - that I, again, had abso-freaking-lutely nothing to do. I might have done 3 hours of work today and that's being generous. Generous! It was probably more like 2.
I do not do well when I'm bored and I've done every little thing I can possibly do to occupy my time other than say "Screw it!" and jump on Facebook. I mean, I can only read those two books so many times and I can only make so many files to organize my desk and I can only make so many binders to hold all of my completed tasks (1) and I can only stare at the stupid computer screen, willing it to refresh and give me something - anything! - to do for so long before going absolutely bonkers. I was begging those around me to give me something to do. I opened the super large safe all by myself and withdrew two wills from it. That took all of 5 minutes.
*sigh*
And then! Oh, and then! I was told on Monday that we'd be having a Boss' Day LUNCH today. I paid $14.40 (along with the rest of the staff) to cover the meal for us and the attorney's. Guess what? The food arrived at 8:00AM. It wasn't a lunch. It wasn't even close to a lunch. I looked at the food and thought, "This is what we paid our good, hard money for?" Puh-leeze. It was chips and dip and fruit and cheese and popcorn. These people need to upgrade to the 21st century. And what the hell was it doing there at 8 in the morning? At around 9 or 9:30 the rest of the staff (minus me and another lady who was too busy to do anything...I wish I'd been....) were like cattle to the trough. I don't even think the attorney's ate anything. So, I paid for the staff to snack all day long. I left at lunch time (as did everybody else - nobody wanted to actually eat that for lunch. Duh. What was I thinking?) and ate BK. Again. I love BK and so do all the fat cells in my body.
*sigh*
At least I know, now, that when they say "lunch" they don't mean lunch. I don't know what the hell they mean, but it isn't that.
And I almost started crying late, late, late this afternoon (4:55pm) when one attorney asked me if I'd scanned & saved to the file a huge mailing I'd done earlier in the day. "Shiiiiiiiit" actually came out of my mouth and I think my face probably turned red and I know I was trying not to let my eyes fill with water and even though he said it was "ok", I know - I just know - this guy thinks I'm a total dunce. Luckily I had the file right there at my desk and the original document was in the file and I could scan it all so it wasn't a big loss, but still. I hate feeling like an idiot and this guy's probably thinking, "Well, I can't trust her to do it right..." That's how I left work today. Feeling like a stupid idiot.
My therapist, if I still had one, would tell me to stop using those types of phrases, even in my head, and she'd be right. My attitude is: Now I know. I'll never make that mistake again. I haven't typed "here, too," in a document since my first day, so I know I can learn and improve and remember.
The way I think of this office is this: It's like being a police officer or fireman: You're bored, bored, dying of boredom and then it's rush, rush, rush, busy, busy, busy. That's exactly what this is.
And can I just say....my house is freaking freezing!! I'm hot at the office. I'm warm in my car. When I walk into the house at the end of the day, I'm an icicle. The first thing I do is turn my electric blanket on to warm my bed & pillows. I need to stuff my pajama's under the blankets, too, to get them warm. I don't know how Garfield stands it all day. Poor girl. But I'm cheap and refuse to turn the heat above 60. I can just put more clothes on and Garfield can run around to warm up - she could use the exercise.
That's my bitch-fest for the day. Here's hoping tomorrow's better...
I had my first bad day at work. Day 7 - one week in - and I've already had a bad day. I'm not sure what that means. I'm sure it's only the first of many, many, many more bad days to come. I mean, I can't be perfect all the time, right?
I don't know what happened. I woke up in a fine & dandy mood. I looked good for our staff pictures and I was looking forward to our "Boss' Day" lunch (as much as I can, anyway). But then I got to work and realized- after spending all of Tuesday afternoon literally twiddling my thumbs, bored out of my mind, reading law dictionaries and a legal secretary book from 1981 (yes, 1981. I was in 1st grade. I was 6 years old. *sigh*) - that I, again, had abso-freaking-lutely nothing to do. I might have done 3 hours of work today and that's being generous. Generous! It was probably more like 2.
I do not do well when I'm bored and I've done every little thing I can possibly do to occupy my time other than say "Screw it!" and jump on Facebook. I mean, I can only read those two books so many times and I can only make so many files to organize my desk and I can only make so many binders to hold all of my completed tasks (1) and I can only stare at the stupid computer screen, willing it to refresh and give me something - anything! - to do for so long before going absolutely bonkers. I was begging those around me to give me something to do. I opened the super large safe all by myself and withdrew two wills from it. That took all of 5 minutes.
*sigh*
And then! Oh, and then! I was told on Monday that we'd be having a Boss' Day LUNCH today. I paid $14.40 (along with the rest of the staff) to cover the meal for us and the attorney's. Guess what? The food arrived at 8:00AM. It wasn't a lunch. It wasn't even close to a lunch. I looked at the food and thought, "This is what we paid our good, hard money for?" Puh-leeze. It was chips and dip and fruit and cheese and popcorn. These people need to upgrade to the 21st century. And what the hell was it doing there at 8 in the morning? At around 9 or 9:30 the rest of the staff (minus me and another lady who was too busy to do anything...I wish I'd been....) were like cattle to the trough. I don't even think the attorney's ate anything. So, I paid for the staff to snack all day long. I left at lunch time (as did everybody else - nobody wanted to actually eat that for lunch. Duh. What was I thinking?) and ate BK. Again. I love BK and so do all the fat cells in my body.
*sigh*
At least I know, now, that when they say "lunch" they don't mean lunch. I don't know what the hell they mean, but it isn't that.
And I almost started crying late, late, late this afternoon (4:55pm) when one attorney asked me if I'd scanned & saved to the file a huge mailing I'd done earlier in the day. "Shiiiiiiiit" actually came out of my mouth and I think my face probably turned red and I know I was trying not to let my eyes fill with water and even though he said it was "ok", I know - I just know - this guy thinks I'm a total dunce. Luckily I had the file right there at my desk and the original document was in the file and I could scan it all so it wasn't a big loss, but still. I hate feeling like an idiot and this guy's probably thinking, "Well, I can't trust her to do it right..." That's how I left work today. Feeling like a stupid idiot.
My therapist, if I still had one, would tell me to stop using those types of phrases, even in my head, and she'd be right. My attitude is: Now I know. I'll never make that mistake again. I haven't typed "here, too," in a document since my first day, so I know I can learn and improve and remember.
The way I think of this office is this: It's like being a police officer or fireman: You're bored, bored, dying of boredom and then it's rush, rush, rush, busy, busy, busy. That's exactly what this is.
And can I just say....my house is freaking freezing!! I'm hot at the office. I'm warm in my car. When I walk into the house at the end of the day, I'm an icicle. The first thing I do is turn my electric blanket on to warm my bed & pillows. I need to stuff my pajama's under the blankets, too, to get them warm. I don't know how Garfield stands it all day. Poor girl. But I'm cheap and refuse to turn the heat above 60. I can just put more clothes on and Garfield can run around to warm up - she could use the exercise.
 |
| Me all day |
That's my bitch-fest for the day. Here's hoping tomorrow's better...
Monday, October 26, 2015
“I’ve come to the conclusion that people who wear headphones while they walk, are much happier, more confident, and more beautiful individuals than someone making the solitary drudge to work without acknowledging their own interests and power.” ― Jason Mraz
How about a person who wears headphones while they're at work? Listening to lawyer-speak? Am I happier, more confident and more beautiful? Highly doubtful....but I am satisfied...
I'm amazed at how fast today zipped by. By the amount of emails I received (not via my own email because I still don't have that, but whatever...) I was a bit frantic this morning....and then I got in the groove, put on the headphones, transcribed some shit and suddenly it was after 5 o'clock.
I know there will be days when I'm bored out of my mind. I know there will come a time when I can't stand to be around people for one. more. second! I know I'll bitch and moan and complain....but right now, I'm simply satisfied.
They're re-taking pictures for the website on Wednesday. Guess that means they think they're going to keep me, so that's a good sign. Someone said, when they handed me the key to the office last week, "This means you're here for at least 10 years..." I'm thinking 25. Or 30.
I'm still amazed. I'm amazed they hired me (not that they shouldn't have...I mean, come on! I'm fan-freaking-tastic and all I wanted for so, so long was for someone to just give me a chance! Glad they did...). I'm amazed I like it so much (I constantly worry that my brain is going to suddenly take a detour down the dark and lonely highway and leave me stranded...). I'm amazed I can do it (I don't give myself enough credit.). I'm amazed I feel so good (other than the constant muscle cramp in my neck and shoulders and the pain in my feet from my shoes.).
I'll take it....
I finally wised up last Friday and purchased meals to make in my slow-cooker for this week. Like I want to come home and wait one or two hours to eat dinner? And stand at the stove making it, to top it all off? No, No thank you. So I purchased two pounds of beef stew meat and a packet of McCormick's Beef Stew mixture...along with a large carrot, celery, diced tomatoes and an onion. I chopped all the veggies yesterday and this morning I just followed the instructions on the McCormick's package and put it all in the slow cooker on low and it was absolutely perfect when I got home. Yum, Yum, Yum. I could have eaten all of it tonight but I saved two more servings for Tuesday and Wednesday. And all low carb! Which I need to do better at....
I'm making it my mission this week (except for Wednesday because we're celebrating "Boss' Day" with a catered lunch...) to only eat low-carb meals. Today's lunch was sponsored by Atkins frozen meals (crustless chicken pot pie). I was 129 lbs this a.m. so I need to get back on track. Here's what's funny - because I'm working all day (and not napping), I feel like I'm exercising or not eating hardly at all, but I'm not exercising - I'm sitting and walking a lot but mostly sitting - and I am eating...I just do it so quickly, I don't feel like I'm eating.
*sigh*
On a happy note, the librarian has seen pictures of my Snoopy doghouse and Lucy's "psychiatric booth" and loved, loved, loved them! Can't wait to help decorate and see it when it's all put together. Going to be fantastic.
My shoulder is cramping and my electric blanket is calling my name.....
I'm amazed at how fast today zipped by. By the amount of emails I received (not via my own email because I still don't have that, but whatever...) I was a bit frantic this morning....and then I got in the groove, put on the headphones, transcribed some shit and suddenly it was after 5 o'clock.
I know there will be days when I'm bored out of my mind. I know there will come a time when I can't stand to be around people for one. more. second! I know I'll bitch and moan and complain....but right now, I'm simply satisfied.
They're re-taking pictures for the website on Wednesday. Guess that means they think they're going to keep me, so that's a good sign. Someone said, when they handed me the key to the office last week, "This means you're here for at least 10 years..." I'm thinking 25. Or 30.
I'm still amazed. I'm amazed they hired me (not that they shouldn't have...I mean, come on! I'm fan-freaking-tastic and all I wanted for so, so long was for someone to just give me a chance! Glad they did...). I'm amazed I like it so much (I constantly worry that my brain is going to suddenly take a detour down the dark and lonely highway and leave me stranded...). I'm amazed I can do it (I don't give myself enough credit.). I'm amazed I feel so good (other than the constant muscle cramp in my neck and shoulders and the pain in my feet from my shoes.).
I'll take it....
I finally wised up last Friday and purchased meals to make in my slow-cooker for this week. Like I want to come home and wait one or two hours to eat dinner? And stand at the stove making it, to top it all off? No, No thank you. So I purchased two pounds of beef stew meat and a packet of McCormick's Beef Stew mixture...along with a large carrot, celery, diced tomatoes and an onion. I chopped all the veggies yesterday and this morning I just followed the instructions on the McCormick's package and put it all in the slow cooker on low and it was absolutely perfect when I got home. Yum, Yum, Yum. I could have eaten all of it tonight but I saved two more servings for Tuesday and Wednesday. And all low carb! Which I need to do better at....
I'm making it my mission this week (except for Wednesday because we're celebrating "Boss' Day" with a catered lunch...) to only eat low-carb meals. Today's lunch was sponsored by Atkins frozen meals (crustless chicken pot pie). I was 129 lbs this a.m. so I need to get back on track. Here's what's funny - because I'm working all day (and not napping), I feel like I'm exercising or not eating hardly at all, but I'm not exercising - I'm sitting and walking a lot but mostly sitting - and I am eating...I just do it so quickly, I don't feel like I'm eating.
*sigh*
On a happy note, the librarian has seen pictures of my Snoopy doghouse and Lucy's "psychiatric booth" and loved, loved, loved them! Can't wait to help decorate and see it when it's all put together. Going to be fantastic.
My shoulder is cramping and my electric blanket is calling my name.....
Friday, October 23, 2015
"The difference between Friday and the rest of the work week is that I really mean it when I smile on Friday."
Ah, I can finally use funny work quotes for my titles! Joy! I smile every day and probably less on Friday because I'm just too damn tired to make my face do anything, lol. I'm sure it'll get easier...
So here's what I've learned this week:
1. I may not know anything but I take damn good notes and I can generally figure shit out.
2. There's a bitch in the office and it isn't me so I'm good with that.
3. I used to love wearing high heels. Not so much anymore. Give me a comfy pair of flats any day and I'll be happy. I might look like a toad, but I'll be comfortable.
4. I might be the least fucked-up person in that vicinity. I'm doin' pretty good.
5. I sort of miss the days of freezing in the office, having to wear a sweater in the summer. I'm hotter than hell at this place and no, it isn't because of "The Change".
6. Every time I answer the phone, I take this super-long pause because in my head I'm saying, "Salem Church, this is ______" so it takes me a good 3 seconds to say that in my head, catch myself, and then say out loud, "CLF, this is ____. How can I help you?"
7. It's nice to have the weekend to look forward to again. Before, the weekend was just like every other day. No particular day was "special". It's nice to have these "special" days back.
8. I actually can go a whole day without napping.
9. I'm also looking forward to naps during the weekend, lol. Do not disturb me Saturday or Sunday afternoons and you better not call before 8:00AM, either, just to be safe. Let's make that 9. I'll probably wake up at 5:30 anyway. *sigh*
10. It's nice to not be the person responsible for so many different things. I don't do HR. I don't do tech (though I wish I did because I'd be better at it). I don't have to call any contractors, suppliers, maintenance men, etc, etc, etc. It's a load-off to not have all that responsibility. I almost got yelled at today for re-filling the bathroom papertowel holder. "Gasp! We don't do that! Janitorial staff is supposed to!" The person was laughing when she said this because, come on, how ridiculous, but I get it. It's like AA: Keep your own side of the street swept.
All in all, I'm very, very pleased with my first week at work. I enjoy the job. I like the people. I think they like me. I think they think I'm doing an o.k. job.....though when I'm doing transcription, I have a sticky note on my computer screen that says "hereto" because when I'm doing transcription, I hear "here, too," and automatically type it. I don't know how many of those I've corrected, but today I typed all the "hereto"'s correctly. Amazing.
I just zoned out there for a good minute so I'm thinking that means it's time to eat dinner and try not to fall asleep while watching the Amazing Race. I don't hold out much hope....
I can't wait to sleep in! And nap! Ahhhhh, it's good to be working again...so, so good.
So here's what I've learned this week:
1. I may not know anything but I take damn good notes and I can generally figure shit out.
2. There's a bitch in the office and it isn't me so I'm good with that.
3. I used to love wearing high heels. Not so much anymore. Give me a comfy pair of flats any day and I'll be happy. I might look like a toad, but I'll be comfortable.
4. I might be the least fucked-up person in that vicinity. I'm doin' pretty good.
5. I sort of miss the days of freezing in the office, having to wear a sweater in the summer. I'm hotter than hell at this place and no, it isn't because of "The Change".
6. Every time I answer the phone, I take this super-long pause because in my head I'm saying, "Salem Church, this is ______" so it takes me a good 3 seconds to say that in my head, catch myself, and then say out loud, "CLF, this is ____. How can I help you?"
7. It's nice to have the weekend to look forward to again. Before, the weekend was just like every other day. No particular day was "special". It's nice to have these "special" days back.
8. I actually can go a whole day without napping.
9. I'm also looking forward to naps during the weekend, lol. Do not disturb me Saturday or Sunday afternoons and you better not call before 8:00AM, either, just to be safe. Let's make that 9. I'll probably wake up at 5:30 anyway. *sigh*
10. It's nice to not be the person responsible for so many different things. I don't do HR. I don't do tech (though I wish I did because I'd be better at it). I don't have to call any contractors, suppliers, maintenance men, etc, etc, etc. It's a load-off to not have all that responsibility. I almost got yelled at today for re-filling the bathroom papertowel holder. "Gasp! We don't do that! Janitorial staff is supposed to!" The person was laughing when she said this because, come on, how ridiculous, but I get it. It's like AA: Keep your own side of the street swept.
All in all, I'm very, very pleased with my first week at work. I enjoy the job. I like the people. I think they like me. I think they think I'm doing an o.k. job.....though when I'm doing transcription, I have a sticky note on my computer screen that says "hereto" because when I'm doing transcription, I hear "here, too," and automatically type it. I don't know how many of those I've corrected, but today I typed all the "hereto"'s correctly. Amazing.
I just zoned out there for a good minute so I'm thinking that means it's time to eat dinner and try not to fall asleep while watching the Amazing Race. I don't hold out much hope....
I can't wait to sleep in! And nap! Ahhhhh, it's good to be working again...so, so good.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Are there really only 24 hours in a day?
How the hell do normal people do it? I mean, I wake up, I follow my routine and get out the door to go to work. I work, work, work and then I come home and make dinner and suddenly it's 7 o'clock and time to record ABC shows and watch Survivor on CBS and I haven't even watched the Monday & Tuesday night shows I taped because I cannot stay awake long enough! I fell asleep last night @ 8:30. I pretty much crashed. I. was. beat. And why? It's not like I did manual labor all day long. I sat. I walked.
*sigh*
Seriously. How did Mom do it all those years? Working all day, cooking, laundry, cleaning, going to kid's events, etc, etc, etc. It's amazing she didn't just collapse from wear & tear. I'm ready to and it's DAY TWO, lol.
It gets better, right? It'll get easier? I won't be so damn tired at night? I'll be able to actually stay conscious? I'm just not used to going nap-free. Two days in a row...no naps. My body's going into shock. I need a massage.
But...today was a good day. I feel like I belong there. That feels good. I hope I didn't screw anything up too badly today! :)
I'm too tired and Survivor is on and my dinner's almost ready and I'm starving....Is it the weekend yet?
(For all my whining, I'm incredibly happy. Content. I'm content and that feels better....)
*sigh*
Seriously. How did Mom do it all those years? Working all day, cooking, laundry, cleaning, going to kid's events, etc, etc, etc. It's amazing she didn't just collapse from wear & tear. I'm ready to and it's DAY TWO, lol.
It gets better, right? It'll get easier? I won't be so damn tired at night? I'll be able to actually stay conscious? I'm just not used to going nap-free. Two days in a row...no naps. My body's going into shock. I need a massage.
But...today was a good day. I feel like I belong there. That feels good. I hope I didn't screw anything up too badly today! :)
I'm too tired and Survivor is on and my dinner's almost ready and I'm starving....Is it the weekend yet?
(For all my whining, I'm incredibly happy. Content. I'm content and that feels better....)
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
"Age doesn't make you forgetful. Having way too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful." -Maxine
First of all:
Garfield is not happy. Bernice is so sweet and nice and just wants attention and there's Garfield hissing and growling at her: "Get off my porch!" *sigh* I would adopt Bernice in a hot-second but 1. She's taken, 2. She's probably full of disease because she's left outside and I'm pretty sure she's had no shots, treatments, etc. which would mean she would be very expensive, and 3. Garfield would eat her and turn against me and probably eat me in my sleep. But it breaks my damn heart that she was on my porch this evening. She looks like she's starving. I'd love to feed her, but that's a cycle that would never end....until her likely demise. I doubt I'll see her after this winter. It's taking all my damn willpower not to take care of her. Seriously.
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| Garfield vs. Bernice: The Battle of the Ages |
Garfield is not happy. Bernice is so sweet and nice and just wants attention and there's Garfield hissing and growling at her: "Get off my porch!" *sigh* I would adopt Bernice in a hot-second but 1. She's taken, 2. She's probably full of disease because she's left outside and I'm pretty sure she's had no shots, treatments, etc. which would mean she would be very expensive, and 3. Garfield would eat her and turn against me and probably eat me in my sleep. But it breaks my damn heart that she was on my porch this evening. She looks like she's starving. I'd love to feed her, but that's a cycle that would never end....until her likely demise. I doubt I'll see her after this winter. It's taking all my damn willpower not to take care of her. Seriously.
*sigh*
It's nice to have a little cat drama to worry and think about because it's allowed me to focus on something other than....
MY FIRST DAY OF WORK!
lol.
It went pretty well. Here's what I was thinking during my lunch break.
- I really don't know anything.
I kept comparing the morning to when I tried to work for CDS as a telemarketer. I didn't know anything then, either, but here's what's different: CDS was like working for the military. Time in, lock your possessions in a locker which you won't see for the rest of the day because the lock they gave you doesn't work, time out for break but don't leave the premises, time back in, time out for lunch (on the premises), time back in, time out for another break, time in and finally....time out for the night - you're free to finally leave!
This is so different. I have my purse and bag with me at my desk. I can retrieve anything from either of them at any moment. I can pee without having to ask someone. I can leave to take my break and lunch. It's still the same amount of time, but because nobody abuses it, a person isn't being micromanaged. I guess I hate that. Never really thought about it before.
And for some reason, the stuff I'm learning is more intuitive to me. CDS wasn't. That was like trying to learn a foreign language. This is not. This is learning something new in a language I understand. I mean, there are plenty of terms thrown at me today that I have no clue what they mean, but I know I'll figure it all out. I think this might be the most relaxed I've ever been after a first day at work. Even compared to the gas station! Geez, I was so damn anxious then....This is so much better.
It's a lot more than simply transcription, though there will be that. I'll pull files each morning after checking the attorney's calendars for what they'll need that day. I'll check the faxes which are stored on our server and save them to the proper folder on the server, print out for the file and print for the attorney. I'll do whatever the attorney's tell me to do for criminal, estate planning and miscellaneous items. (Those are my 3, I guess.) I don't really know. I'll probably get to the office tomorrow and not even be able to read my FIVE pages of notes. I hope my memory is better than it usually is!
It's 7PM and I'm tired but it's a good tired....and while I totally cheated on my diet today (hello Burger King! how I've missed you!) I'm hungry so off I go to eat and hopefully stay conscious long enough to watch my shows for the evening, lol. Oh, and on Wednesday's, the office opens at 7:30, so....yeah! I can sleep-in Saturday.....isn't that what normal people do?
I'm honestly just amazed I made it through the day without napping....
Monday, October 19, 2015
Good Grief!
The next time I think it's a good idea to paint something....anything....remind me I'm not young anymore. Everything will hurt. Everything does hurt. Ugh!
Remember I volunteered Dad & myself to make the Snoopy doghouse and Lucy's "psychiatric help" stand for the library's Christmas theme?
Here's what we started out with:
Remember I volunteered Dad & myself to make the Snoopy doghouse and Lucy's "psychiatric help" stand for the library's Christmas theme?
Here's what we started out with:
Two big boxes from the local HVAC company (thanks to Affordable!). Here's what Dad helped to create:
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| Plus Lucy's "stand" (no pic) |
And after I worked my magic:
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| Put the workbench to good use last night painting this sign! |
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| I made "IN" & "OUT" signs to thumbtack on. |
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| LOL, you can tell my basement is totally covered in red. I used a lot of paint! |
Honestly, I can't believe how good they look in these pictures! I'm incredible! :) Are all the words spelled correctly, because "PSYCHIATRIC" just doesn't look right? You know how when you stare at a word so long, it starts to look wrong. "When" and I have a lot of issues. It just never seems right...and now I can add "psychiatric" to the list of "I'm crazy"....
Let's see - that's 4 coats of paint for every item, plus a fat-lot-of duct tape because I must have gotten a dud roll of duct tape. It kept coming undone! Dad suggested placing a dab of glue under the loose tape so that's what I did...plus I bought a roll of red duct tape for the doghouse. That sucker's not falling apart (yeah, right...)! For the words I found the Peanuts font on-line, downloaded it to my computer and created the signage. I then taped it into place and traced the letters (hard!) which left indentations. Then I just outlined and filled in the words with paint on-hand.
I'm going to do another coat of paint for the words but the hard part's done - tracing. My hand is in the shape of a turkey claw and I have a callous on my middle finger. I must hold my pencil weird. I'll be ecstatic when these bastards are done, lol.
I start the new job tomorrow! I keep realizing all these silly things...I no longer have to look for a job! I don't have to search Iowa Jobs or the local newspapers or the Shopper for ads! What a relief! And over the last year (& longer), every time I'd see a preview for a new television show that I wanted to watch, e.g. "The Walking Dead, October 12th", I'd think to myself, "I'm going to have a job by then!". Do you know how many new shows have come on t.v. that I've thought that about? Numerous. Too many to count. Ah! But now! Now I do have a job! I can't tell you how excited, nervous, anxious, scared-to-death I am. I just want to remain healthy and happy and not be walloped by a bout of anxiety or depression or anything else. I hope my brain has only good things in store for me! I'm ready....I'm ready to live!
I'm sure there's more to write about, but seriously....I need to rest my hands & fingers. It'd be a bad impression to start a new job to transcribe and not be able to move my fingers...
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
"I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen." -A.A. Milne
All week, I've been waking up early. It's like going back to school after summer break. I have to get back into the groove of things. Waking up early isn't all that hard for me to do....it's staying awake all. day. long that's difficult. I haven't made it through one day, yet, nap-free. *SigH* I'm really going to miss naps. Maybe today's the day because.....
Dad's installing a new kitchen faucet for me. My water pressure in the kitchen has always been crap, but in the last 3 weeks, it's gotten significantly worse. I mean, if I have the hot water running and turn the cold water on, too, you'd think the water pressure would increase somewhat. Nope. Not mine. Stays the same...which is a little more than a trickle at this point.
Little brother who's becoming a plumber (crack included) has looked at everything and suggested trying a new faucet first to see if that fixes the problem. He said, "You can return a faucet...you can't return copper..." So we got a new faucet, which I am so totally excited about! My old faucet was a two-handle plain jane and with my reverse osmosis faucet on the sink, there was no room for the sprayer. Try rinsing a sink out without a sprayer and/or water pressure. You can't. That's why I have a cup in my dish-drainer...to rinse my sink.
But now! Oh my - now! We bought a faucet that is a sprayer!
OK, back to Larry. Today was probably the last time I'll see him before his funeral and we all know seeing someone at their funeral isn't properly "seeing" them. It's hard. It's sad. I'm a little bit scared. It all just sucks.
Dad's installing a new kitchen faucet for me. My water pressure in the kitchen has always been crap, but in the last 3 weeks, it's gotten significantly worse. I mean, if I have the hot water running and turn the cold water on, too, you'd think the water pressure would increase somewhat. Nope. Not mine. Stays the same...which is a little more than a trickle at this point.
Little brother who's becoming a plumber (crack included) has looked at everything and suggested trying a new faucet first to see if that fixes the problem. He said, "You can return a faucet...you can't return copper..." So we got a new faucet, which I am so totally excited about! My old faucet was a two-handle plain jane and with my reverse osmosis faucet on the sink, there was no room for the sprayer. Try rinsing a sink out without a sprayer and/or water pressure. You can't. That's why I have a cup in my dish-drainer...to rinse my sink.
But now! Oh my - now! We bought a faucet that is a sprayer!
 |
| Not installed...it's just resting there. |
But, you know, nothing's ever easy so I'll be quite amazed if Dad gets it installed. I haven't heard any cussing, yet, but I have heard a lot of grumbling and talking to himself. Now I know why Mom has selective hearing.
I attended my last Wednesday morning AA meeting in CB today. I wasn't expecting to see Larry and he wasn't there....at first. He showed up towards the end of the meeting, being chauffeured by his wife & son, bearing doughnuts! It's hard to see such a big bear of a man who was healthy not-so-long ago, failing. He talks, but a person has a hard time understanding what he's saying because he slurs his words pretty bad. His equilibrium is way off so he fell down 6 stairs and landed on his face so he looks beat up. He can't drive, thus the chauffeurs, though he was bound and determined to build his grandchildren a treehouse so he stole his own truck, drove it up a hill to a tree and then it rolled back down the hill. It didn't deter him. Others had to wear him out and then carried him inside to bed.
Update: I. AM. AMAZED! Good water pressure AND a sprayer! I'm in heaven!
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| Installed! Beautiful! |
OK, back to Larry. Today was probably the last time I'll see him before his funeral and we all know seeing someone at their funeral isn't properly "seeing" them. It's hard. It's sad. I'm a little bit scared. It all just sucks.
And speaking of sucks....nobody at the meeting feels like they have the right to bitch about any problem they have in their lives....and trust me, we've all got shit. They all say, "Look at what Larry's going through. I have no right to complain..." So today I said to one of the guys who constantly says this, "I had someone tell me this when I was a teenager and I was saying the same thing...'Look at so&so; I have no right to bitch' and this person said to me, 'But this is your worst. Whatever you're going through, it's yours. It might be the worst thing you ever have to deal with. That's the worst thing they'll ever have to deal with. It's your shit.'" Basically, it's good to keep things in perspective, but don't think what you're going through is somehow less-than what someone else is going through. Trust me, I get how awful this is. It's horrible. It's unfair. It out-right sucks. And I feel for Larry and his whole family and extended AA family. It's going to hit all of us very, very hard. I can't imagine a world without Larry.
When it got to my turn to speak, I talked about how easily I could go down a deep, dark hole and wallow there for the rest of my life. I talked about how, every damn night, my thoughts go down a bunny trail and end up somewhere horrible...somewhere that makes me feel horrible. Inevitably, I wind up at the time when my brother asked me to take him to some car dealers and somehow it ended up being about my piece of shit car. I made it about me. I felt awful about it then, I felt awful about it a year or two ago when I called my brother up and apologized (again) profusely and he said, "What are you talking about? I don't even remember..." and yet...and yet...it still bothers me. I feel like it reflects my character and that reflection is butt-ugly.
Then, on the way to the meeting, I somehow got to thinking about the time when I was a child (10,11, 12?) and Mom and I were in the city, going to the Mall. It was always a big deal to do that. Well, it had rained or was raining and I either walked through a puddle or a car drove through a puddle and my jeans got all wet and dirty. I pitched a fit because I was embarrassed. I pitched a fit. I remember Mom ran into someone from the hometown and I was probably crying and acting like a shit and Mom had to buy me new jeans to shut me up. I was a horrible child. Horrible! And I think back on that and regret it. Immensely. I didn't need new jeans. I didn't. I could have survived a day of embarrassment with wet, dirty jeans. I did not need new ones. I'm sure it was just easier for Mom to give me what I wanted to put me in a not-so-irritating mood.
See how easy it would be to dwell on this stupid ass shit and let it bring me down? Easy-peasy.
Then the next guy spoke at the meeting and he said something that really helped me. He talked about himself and how he's essentially the same as I am and what his sponsor said to him...."Are you the same person now you were then?" Well, no. No, I'm not. Oh gods, I hope I'm not. "Look at all the hard work you've put in to become a better person. That counts for something..." I'm going to remember that tonight when I'm trying to fall asleep and I inevitably think about some random thing that eventually takes me to me being a piece of shit. I am not now the person I was then.
What I do when I find myself thinking about stupid, random, bad shit is to picture a big red STOP sign and then force myself to think about something else. What am I doing tomorrow? Focus. On. That. Focus on anything else. Anything! I can do that when I'm mentally healthy. I'm not capable of doing that when I'm not.
Am I anxious about starting my new job? Yes, a bit. Not overwhelmingly-so. Just a bit. I'm mostly excited...but there's a small voice in the back of my head that wants to take me down a dark path...."Hope you don't get anxious, then depressed, then suicidal...." "Hope you don't wind up the same place you always do...in a hospital..." "Hope you can figure out how to not be scared shitless when driving in the snow!" *Sigh* I wear myself out. Sit down and shut up, little voice!
Am I anxious about starting my new job? Yes, a bit. Not overwhelmingly-so. Just a bit. I'm mostly excited...but there's a small voice in the back of my head that wants to take me down a dark path...."Hope you don't get anxious, then depressed, then suicidal...." "Hope you don't wind up the same place you always do...in a hospital..." "Hope you can figure out how to not be scared shitless when driving in the snow!" *Sigh* I wear myself out. Sit down and shut up, little voice!
I baked a blueberry pie yesterday. Guess what I'm going to go do....
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Does this mean I have to do work?
Dad surprised me today with this!!
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| Workbench! |
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| Perfect fit in my garage with the carpenter! |
It's big and heavy so you know it's sturdy. And it has a shelf on top and a shelf below and boards to keep things from falling off the back and peg boards on either side to hang S-hooks for tools and such. Guess I need to get me some more tools!
THANKS DAD!
And Garfield is keeping me entertained...
I'm pretty sure she's trying to crawl into my purse so I have to take her with me wherever I go. Unfortunately, she weighs a tad bit more than a chihuahua so that ain't gonna happen...
A couple of days ago I made Cheesy Spaghetti (Squash) Bake and it. is. good! Tonight, while I was perusing Pinterest, I saw a recipe for breadsticks using coconut flour so I gave that a whirl to go with my leftovers.
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| Cheesy Spaghetti Squash Bake & Breadsticks |
It was actually too much for me to eat. I don't think I've ever said, "This is too much" in my whole life. Is anything ever too much? No. But I threw away a couple of the breadsticks (ok, 4 out of 6). They were good, though I can't stand coconut flour because it is w-e-i-r-d. It just isn't like almond flour or all-purpose flour - but the plethora of cheese made up for it. Yum-yum!
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
"Dying is like getting audited by the IRS--something that only happens to other people ... until it happens to you." --JEROME P. CRABB, Death Quotes and Quibbles
I went to my AA meeting in CB last week. I don't really remember why I chose to go then. I remember sitting on my couch Tuesday evening, wondering what I was going to do the next day and realized the meeting was then so I could go to that. I texted my friends to make sure the meeting was still on and woke up early enough Wednesday morning to go. Man, it's hard to wake up at 5AM when the sun doesn't catch up to you for two hours. But I went....and I'm glad I did.
Larry, the Chair of the meeting since I've been attending and long before, was there...and still chairing. He's got months...no, weeks...no, in reality, days....to live and there he was, still giving of himself to others. Granted, he was slurring his words, which at an AA meeting (& if you didn't know any better) is a little bit ironic and he was awfully chatty (more so than usual) but he looked great. The man is dying and he made more of an effort that morning than I did. Even though he's no longer fully employed, they're keeping him on so he can get FMLA so he goes in once in awhile, he was in his work clothes. I figured he was wearing his work uniform because that's all he has in his closet. It's all I've ever seen him wear. After the meeting, we all gather in a circle, hold hands and recite the Lord's Prayer. Afterward, he gave me a hug and told me he still carries around the AA charm I gave to the guys one Christmas(?) or just because.
And then I got the news about getting the job and starting in two weeks and realized I won't be able to attend these meetings as often, if at all, so I went again today and am planning to go next week. I want to "fill up". It doesn't work that way, but whatever...And I walked into the meeting....and no Larry. I mean, I didn't really expect him to be there...he's not driving anymore but there are plenty of AA folks who would give him a ride (& have) and since he looked so good last week, I guess I kind of did expect to see him. However, on the drive to the meeting, I thought "A lot can happen in one week..." It was still a bit of a shock to hear how much worse he's gotten in one week. He can't even communicate with his wife anymore. He's in the hospital and when they release him (if he makes it) he'll go into hospice care.
This is it. This is really it.
At last week's meeting (the one Larry was at) when it got to each individual's turn to speak, they all brought up something about Larry; about how he's helped them in the program; what they're going to miss, etc, etc. On my way to this week's meeting, I thought about that and wondered how Larry felt about it all. I'd want to throat punch people, I think. Either that or I'd be so moved, I'd just cry all the damn time. Not that I'd ever hear about how much I've helped someone, lol, and I guess it'd be nice to hear all those nice things about yourself before you can't hear them anymore...but geesch. He's not dead yet! I don't know. I don't think anybody knows how they'd react/act in that situation until they're in it.
Did you see the pilot episode of "Life in Pieces" on CBS Monday nights @ 7:30?
It's a hilarious show...one of my new favorites...but in the pilot episode, the 70-year-old-Dad has a funeral for his birthday. They're in a funeral home, everyone's wearing black, everyone speaks about what a great man he was (is) and he's sitting in a chair, drinking a mai tai listening to it all. It's reminiscent of Tom Sawyer listening in on his own funeral because all the townspeople thought he was dead.
I guess we should tell people all the things we would say about them at their funeral. We shouldn't wait. Nor should we wait to do anything. We should all be living as if it's our last week or day or hour. What would you do?
I would want to play games with all my friends and family every night until I can't anymore. Spoons and CatchPhrase and Phase 10. I've never laughed as hard as I do when playing games with them and I'd want to laugh. A lot. I'd probably just nap the days away, lol. What a waste...I'm sure I'd spend my days doing something grand and exciting....
The world is going to lose a great man. A great, great man.
Larry, the Chair of the meeting since I've been attending and long before, was there...and still chairing. He's got months...no, weeks...no, in reality, days....to live and there he was, still giving of himself to others. Granted, he was slurring his words, which at an AA meeting (& if you didn't know any better) is a little bit ironic and he was awfully chatty (more so than usual) but he looked great. The man is dying and he made more of an effort that morning than I did. Even though he's no longer fully employed, they're keeping him on so he can get FMLA so he goes in once in awhile, he was in his work clothes. I figured he was wearing his work uniform because that's all he has in his closet. It's all I've ever seen him wear. After the meeting, we all gather in a circle, hold hands and recite the Lord's Prayer. Afterward, he gave me a hug and told me he still carries around the AA charm I gave to the guys one Christmas(?) or just because.
And then I got the news about getting the job and starting in two weeks and realized I won't be able to attend these meetings as often, if at all, so I went again today and am planning to go next week. I want to "fill up". It doesn't work that way, but whatever...And I walked into the meeting....and no Larry. I mean, I didn't really expect him to be there...he's not driving anymore but there are plenty of AA folks who would give him a ride (& have) and since he looked so good last week, I guess I kind of did expect to see him. However, on the drive to the meeting, I thought "A lot can happen in one week..." It was still a bit of a shock to hear how much worse he's gotten in one week. He can't even communicate with his wife anymore. He's in the hospital and when they release him (if he makes it) he'll go into hospice care.
This is it. This is really it.
At last week's meeting (the one Larry was at) when it got to each individual's turn to speak, they all brought up something about Larry; about how he's helped them in the program; what they're going to miss, etc, etc. On my way to this week's meeting, I thought about that and wondered how Larry felt about it all. I'd want to throat punch people, I think. Either that or I'd be so moved, I'd just cry all the damn time. Not that I'd ever hear about how much I've helped someone, lol, and I guess it'd be nice to hear all those nice things about yourself before you can't hear them anymore...but geesch. He's not dead yet! I don't know. I don't think anybody knows how they'd react/act in that situation until they're in it.
Did you see the pilot episode of "Life in Pieces" on CBS Monday nights @ 7:30?
It's a hilarious show...one of my new favorites...but in the pilot episode, the 70-year-old-Dad has a funeral for his birthday. They're in a funeral home, everyone's wearing black, everyone speaks about what a great man he was (is) and he's sitting in a chair, drinking a mai tai listening to it all. It's reminiscent of Tom Sawyer listening in on his own funeral because all the townspeople thought he was dead.
Tom Sawyer the Pirate looked around upon the envying juveniles about him and confessed in his heart that this was by far the proudest moment of his life.
I guess we should tell people all the things we would say about them at their funeral. We shouldn't wait. Nor should we wait to do anything. We should all be living as if it's our last week or day or hour. What would you do?
I would want to play games with all my friends and family every night until I can't anymore. Spoons and CatchPhrase and Phase 10. I've never laughed as hard as I do when playing games with them and I'd want to laugh. A lot. I'd probably just nap the days away, lol. What a waste...I'm sure I'd spend my days doing something grand and exciting....
The world is going to lose a great man. A great, great man.
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
“Hide not your talents, they for use were made, What's a sundial in the shade?” ― Benjamin Franklin
Ahhhhhhhhh
I can breathe again!
Well, not in the literal sense. I still can't breathe. In fact, I'm breathing through my mouth right now, slack-jawed, probably have drool dripping down my chin. So, no, literally, I cannot breathe...
But figuratively! Yes! I can breathe! What.A.Relief!
I applied for this job September 4th. I'd seen the ad in our weekly Shopper. It was for Cambridge Law Firm in Atl as a secretary with legal assistant/paralegal experience preferred. I didn't have the preferred experience, but come on, the criminal justice degree has to count for something, right?
I didn't hold out much hope. In fact, I did little to prepare for the first interview. I did get my interview binder in order. Made sure I had my most recent resume in there along with the cover letter. I even washed my interview attire the day before to make sure nothing reeked of smoke. I didn't smoke on the way to the interview. But I didn't hold out much hope.
Obviously. Remember my post one-reason-that-cats-are-happier-....? I was sure I hadn't gotten the job and awaited a rejection letter in the mail. Then I got the phone call for a second interview and boy, did I ever prepare for that one. I washed all my clothes again. I googled "How to Sell Yourself" because I was pretty sure I did a piss-poor job of that the first time around. I googled "second interview questions". I printed them out. I answered all of them. I memorized "Why I'm Great!" I made a "Kick.Some.Ass." CD to listen to on the way there. I printed off motivational sayings to remind me...I.Am.Great.
They didn't really ask me any questions. But I was confident, lol!
They wanted me to clarify some things and then had me transcribe a letter via dictaphone. I was a little nervous as it had been probably 10 years since I'd used one and I did have a second of "how do I stop this thing so I can finish a sentence?" but figured it out easily enough. Done and done. I practically begged the attorney I handed my finished product to to "please please keep me in mind for this job...I could do that all day!" She laughed and said they "were very impressed with my credentials". Which to me means, "you're overqualified and we think you're going to be bored so you don't have a shot in hell..."
I left feeling ok. Not great, but ok. And then I started to imagine getting the job and sharing the news and finally not feeling like a drain on society....I emailed my Aunt Hope I-don't-know how many times asking her to help me prepare for the inevitable...crushing disappointment. In fact, one hour before I got the call, I'd just emailed her saying, "If they don't call tonight...I didn't get it...I'm driving myself insane..." and probably her, too.
And then my cell phone voicemail beeped and I scrambled to find a spot in my house where I could get service (I may have to leave TracFone) and I anxiously listened to her message saying "We've finished our interviews. We had a lot of qualified applicants, blah, blah, blah (seriously, I thought this was a pity call at first) and we'd like to offer you the job..." And then I have no idea what she said because I ran to find their phone number and call her back ASAP because it was almost 5 o'clock. The first words out of my mouth were, "Did you really offer me the job?!?" She's probably regretting her decision.
She said...I don't know what. I was the most qualified. The most enthusiastic. I presented myself so well. My credentials were excellent.
Finally! Finally! Finally! I'm good enough!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I start in two weeks (Oct. 20th). Hours are M & T 8-5, W 7:30-5, R 8-5 and F 8-4:30. I'm pretty sure I get an hour lunch and they made it a point to say that they give employees 15 minutes every 4 hours for a break. I get insurance! I think they pay 100% because I remember saying what a big deal that was. The one attorney (there are 3) laughed and thanked me because a lot of people don't understand how much a company pays for insurance for their employees. I do. I get it. I'll never take it for granted again. There's life insurance, 401(k) (vested after 1 year). Vacation, sick, PTO. I don't know what else.
I'd be brimming with excitement if I didn't feel like such shit.
On the other hand...it was pretty darn exciting telling Mom & Dad. I called over to the house, calmly, to make sure they were both home. I said to Dad, "I need to talk to both of you. I'll be over..." almost glumly. I didn't want to ruin the surprise! So I get over there and Dad's on the phone...so wait, wait, wait and then they both looked at me anxiously like, "What hot mess is she in now?" Dad said to Mom to turn the t.v. off or down and then I just blurted it out. I am not subtle. I GOT A JOB! I think Dad may have even teared up and Mom asked, "The real question is...do you have to deal with people?" to which I laughed and said, "No! Isn't it perfect?!?" LOL. It was a moment I won't forget.
I have the best parents in the world. Over these last two years, they've supported me financially, emotionally...keeping me busy, helping me out...but most importantly, not pressuring me. No pressure. Not once did they say "NO" to my request for money. Not once did they say "We're not paying that..." Not once. And especially this past year...No "why don't you apply for that job?" or "are you even applying for jobs?" Nothing. They've just been unconditionally supportive of me. You can't find that anywhere else. There's really no place like home.
So.Damn.Happy.
I can breathe again!
Well, not in the literal sense. I still can't breathe. In fact, I'm breathing through my mouth right now, slack-jawed, probably have drool dripping down my chin. So, no, literally, I cannot breathe...
But figuratively! Yes! I can breathe! What.A.Relief!
I applied for this job September 4th. I'd seen the ad in our weekly Shopper. It was for Cambridge Law Firm in Atl as a secretary with legal assistant/paralegal experience preferred. I didn't have the preferred experience, but come on, the criminal justice degree has to count for something, right?
I didn't hold out much hope. In fact, I did little to prepare for the first interview. I did get my interview binder in order. Made sure I had my most recent resume in there along with the cover letter. I even washed my interview attire the day before to make sure nothing reeked of smoke. I didn't smoke on the way to the interview. But I didn't hold out much hope.
Obviously. Remember my post one-reason-that-cats-are-happier-....? I was sure I hadn't gotten the job and awaited a rejection letter in the mail. Then I got the phone call for a second interview and boy, did I ever prepare for that one. I washed all my clothes again. I googled "How to Sell Yourself" because I was pretty sure I did a piss-poor job of that the first time around. I googled "second interview questions". I printed them out. I answered all of them. I memorized "Why I'm Great!" I made a "Kick.Some.Ass." CD to listen to on the way there. I printed off motivational sayings to remind me...I.Am.Great.
They didn't really ask me any questions. But I was confident, lol!
They wanted me to clarify some things and then had me transcribe a letter via dictaphone. I was a little nervous as it had been probably 10 years since I'd used one and I did have a second of "how do I stop this thing so I can finish a sentence?" but figured it out easily enough. Done and done. I practically begged the attorney I handed my finished product to to "please please keep me in mind for this job...I could do that all day!" She laughed and said they "were very impressed with my credentials". Which to me means, "you're overqualified and we think you're going to be bored so you don't have a shot in hell..."
I left feeling ok. Not great, but ok. And then I started to imagine getting the job and sharing the news and finally not feeling like a drain on society....I emailed my Aunt Hope I-don't-know how many times asking her to help me prepare for the inevitable...crushing disappointment. In fact, one hour before I got the call, I'd just emailed her saying, "If they don't call tonight...I didn't get it...I'm driving myself insane..." and probably her, too.
And then my cell phone voicemail beeped and I scrambled to find a spot in my house where I could get service (I may have to leave TracFone) and I anxiously listened to her message saying "We've finished our interviews. We had a lot of qualified applicants, blah, blah, blah (seriously, I thought this was a pity call at first) and we'd like to offer you the job..." And then I have no idea what she said because I ran to find their phone number and call her back ASAP because it was almost 5 o'clock. The first words out of my mouth were, "Did you really offer me the job?!?" She's probably regretting her decision.
She said...I don't know what. I was the most qualified. The most enthusiastic. I presented myself so well. My credentials were excellent.
Finally! Finally! Finally! I'm good enough!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I start in two weeks (Oct. 20th). Hours are M & T 8-5, W 7:30-5, R 8-5 and F 8-4:30. I'm pretty sure I get an hour lunch and they made it a point to say that they give employees 15 minutes every 4 hours for a break. I get insurance! I think they pay 100% because I remember saying what a big deal that was. The one attorney (there are 3) laughed and thanked me because a lot of people don't understand how much a company pays for insurance for their employees. I do. I get it. I'll never take it for granted again. There's life insurance, 401(k) (vested after 1 year). Vacation, sick, PTO. I don't know what else.
I'd be brimming with excitement if I didn't feel like such shit.
On the other hand...it was pretty darn exciting telling Mom & Dad. I called over to the house, calmly, to make sure they were both home. I said to Dad, "I need to talk to both of you. I'll be over..." almost glumly. I didn't want to ruin the surprise! So I get over there and Dad's on the phone...so wait, wait, wait and then they both looked at me anxiously like, "What hot mess is she in now?" Dad said to Mom to turn the t.v. off or down and then I just blurted it out. I am not subtle. I GOT A JOB! I think Dad may have even teared up and Mom asked, "The real question is...do you have to deal with people?" to which I laughed and said, "No! Isn't it perfect?!?" LOL. It was a moment I won't forget.
I have the best parents in the world. Over these last two years, they've supported me financially, emotionally...keeping me busy, helping me out...but most importantly, not pressuring me. No pressure. Not once did they say "NO" to my request for money. Not once did they say "We're not paying that..." Not once. And especially this past year...No "why don't you apply for that job?" or "are you even applying for jobs?" Nothing. They've just been unconditionally supportive of me. You can't find that anywhere else. There's really no place like home.
So.Damn.Happy.
Monday, October 5, 2015
"How badly you want something dictates how hard you'll work at it."
Finally, finally, finally...
I GOT A JOB!
I've worn myself out being so excited about it (plus not being able to breathe through my nose is draining me) so I'm too tired to be witty and smart but I promise to write all about it tomorrow...
I GOT A JOB!
I've worn myself out being so excited about it (plus not being able to breathe through my nose is draining me) so I'm too tired to be witty and smart but I promise to write all about it tomorrow...
Friday, October 2, 2015
“I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick.” - Jarod Kintz, "This Book is Not FOR SALE"
I noticed my throat was awfully dry on Tuesday. But that was it. No big deal. But then yesterday afternoon it felt like someone had dumped a load-full of sand down my throat and I couldn't get it out. And I had that dry cough & "death-smell" I had when I had mono. Mom can attest. It really was like death. So I hurried up and did several things:
1. I gargled with warm salt water. Ooh boy, that felt good.....and then it started to feel like I was being waterboarded.
2. I drank a large mug of hot green tea with lemon juice & honey. Mmmm-mmmm. Honey makes everything better. Except this morning it tastes like shit, so.....
3. I guzzled two tablets of Wal-born (the generic Walgreen's brand of Airborn). Also Mmmm-mmmm. Bubbles. I love bubbles.
4. I turned off the dehumidifier in the basement (even though it only runs when it is over 40% humidity and it was running so that tells me there was still humidity in the air but when your throat feels as dry as the desert you can't imagine it's humid anywhere.)
5. I drug my humidifier down from upstairs and plugged it in my bedroom. Then I realized only one of the water jug-thingies worked so I'd be filling the other one constantly. I filled it, which took about an hour with my kitchen tap, and then had to fill it again because the humidifier took all that I had given it.
6. I slept with a Breathe-Right strip so I (hopefully) wouldn't have to breathe through my mouth.
*sigh*
It's a lot of work trying not to get sick and none of it did a damn bit of good. My throat still feels like I've got dirt stuck in my gullet (maybe I do?) and while I'm trying not to cough because that just irritates everything more, sometimes I'm overcome and have to cough. The alternative is choking to death on dirt. I'm starting to wonder if that's better.
I'm blaming my dentist. I had my teeth checked on Monday. Tuesday all this shit started. Either some sick-o stuck their hands in my mouth or something he chipped off my teeth got down my throat and is making me sick. Either option does not appeal to me. Or I could be inhaling all the dust from the fields and my dental appointment has nothing to do with this, in which case, I apologize to my dentist.
The other night I was really jonesin' for some cheesy hamburger dip & chips. I called Mom to see if she had any Velveeta. She didn't, so I googled other options and discovered I could use cream cheese! Love that this is low-carb (minus the chips) and so darn good.
Hamburger Cream Cheese Dip (I halved the recipe)
Oh, and while on the cooking note...the cabbage-hamburger casserole I made was DEEEEE-LIC-IOUS! The zucchini chips, not so much. In fact, after one, they went into the garbage. Blech. Won't be making those again...
On a much happier note....it's finally cool! In fact, it's cold! The temperature in my house is 64 degrees! That's about where I have it set all winter!! I just keep telling Garfield, "You better get used to it..." She's hiding under blankets and here:
1. I gargled with warm salt water. Ooh boy, that felt good.....and then it started to feel like I was being waterboarded.
2. I drank a large mug of hot green tea with lemon juice & honey. Mmmm-mmmm. Honey makes everything better. Except this morning it tastes like shit, so.....
3. I guzzled two tablets of Wal-born (the generic Walgreen's brand of Airborn). Also Mmmm-mmmm. Bubbles. I love bubbles.
4. I turned off the dehumidifier in the basement (even though it only runs when it is over 40% humidity and it was running so that tells me there was still humidity in the air but when your throat feels as dry as the desert you can't imagine it's humid anywhere.)
5. I drug my humidifier down from upstairs and plugged it in my bedroom. Then I realized only one of the water jug-thingies worked so I'd be filling the other one constantly. I filled it, which took about an hour with my kitchen tap, and then had to fill it again because the humidifier took all that I had given it.
6. I slept with a Breathe-Right strip so I (hopefully) wouldn't have to breathe through my mouth.
*sigh*
It's a lot of work trying not to get sick and none of it did a damn bit of good. My throat still feels like I've got dirt stuck in my gullet (maybe I do?) and while I'm trying not to cough because that just irritates everything more, sometimes I'm overcome and have to cough. The alternative is choking to death on dirt. I'm starting to wonder if that's better.
I'm blaming my dentist. I had my teeth checked on Monday. Tuesday all this shit started. Either some sick-o stuck their hands in my mouth or something he chipped off my teeth got down my throat and is making me sick. Either option does not appeal to me. Or I could be inhaling all the dust from the fields and my dental appointment has nothing to do with this, in which case, I apologize to my dentist.
The other night I was really jonesin' for some cheesy hamburger dip & chips. I called Mom to see if she had any Velveeta. She didn't, so I googled other options and discovered I could use cream cheese! Love that this is low-carb (minus the chips) and so darn good.
Hamburger Cream Cheese Dip (I halved the recipe)
Oh, and while on the cooking note...the cabbage-hamburger casserole I made was DEEEEE-LIC-IOUS! The zucchini chips, not so much. In fact, after one, they went into the garbage. Blech. Won't be making those again...
On a much happier note....it's finally cool! In fact, it's cold! The temperature in my house is 64 degrees! That's about where I have it set all winter!! I just keep telling Garfield, "You better get used to it..." She's hiding under blankets and here:
I got this basket out and set it next to my side-door. I'm going to fill it with gloves, stocking caps and scarves. I'm going to have to find a way to keep her out once I do that, otherwise everything will be covered in cat fur. *sigh* She's so much work....but worth it!
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