"Speeding is just another word for 'keeping the cops on their toes.'" -Maxine

As most of you probably know, my brother's house caught on fire yesterday around Noon. Started in an ancient wall oven that everybody thought didn't work so they stored oven mitts & stuff in there. Maybe it was a timer. Maybe it was electrical. Maybe somebody bumped the knob and it actually did work. Who knows. Probably nobody, ever, will know for sure.

Nobody was home. Girlfriend & kids had just left for lunch a 1/2 hour prior. The three dogs & cat were loose in the house. Dogs survived (truly amazing) but cat perished.

When a sister sees her brother trying to call her three times and then hanging up (or I thought, losing the connection) at 12:15, maybe she should stop eating her lunch. I was mid-chew when we finally connected and I just about choked on "My f-ing house is on fire.." Well, there goes lunch. Tossed it in the trash and frantically waited for my brother to call me back - he wasn't sure if he'd need a ride from work (3 guys, 1 truck) or if they'd give him the truck & find another way home. They gave him the truck. Nice guys. So he raced from work (about 20 miles away) and me from home (about the same distance). I think I beat him by 5 minutes. This is what I saw...

Looks fine, doesn't it?

Everybody & their dog was there. Not anybody I knew - no brother, girlfriend, kids, etc. - but all the damn neighbors from within a two block radius. I ran (I RAN) from about 1/2 block away and ran to the first person I thought looked like he was in charge - an older gentleman in uniform. I said, "I'm the sister! Are the dogs ok?" 

That was my first thought. I knew all the people were ok...but what about my brother's damn dogs? Ever the humanitarian, I am. 

They had been rescued and rushed to the vets. Covered in soot. Hadn't found the cat yet. I talked to this gentleman for awhile, babbling basically, saying, "I parked backwards on that street. I hope that's ok. Aw, well, if I get a ticket, so be it..." And he said, "During times like these, we don't sweat the small stuff..." Thank you, sir. Thank you. And then Ben walked up (so much calmer than I did) and I said, "How fast did you go to get here?" (80) "So did I! I'm so glad there weren't any cops around!!" And the elderly gentleman said, "Well, they're all here". We're a cracker jack team, my brother & I. That elderly gentleman in uniform was the police chief. *eye roll*

There's my brother on the end, his girlfriend in the blue shirt and some random people. 

So we waited. And waited. And waited some more. I had brought my brother a soda. And then he needed aspirin. And then he was done with the soda. Whatever that kid needed, I was going to do whatever in my power to give it to him. He's such a trooper. 

The fire chief talked to my brother about the wall oven and said, "Well, we had to tear down the ceilings..." but hearing that & seeing that are two different things. I've had two friends go through house fires and I know the smell lasts a lifetime. I just kept thinking, "everything's ruined" - not that I said it out loud - don't want to freak anybody out - but they'll find out soon enough. Maybe cleaning-technology has advanced in two years, but I doubt it. If I were all of you, I'd invest in Fabreze & Glade. 

So after everything, the firemen were packing up & ....

Sorry, glass just shattered in my bedroom. It sounded like actual glass breaking and while my first thought was, "What did Garfield break?" my second thought was, "There's no glass in my bedroom..." Except the damn window. Perfect golf-ball-sized hole in the outer storm window and the upper-inner window pane. I looked around my room for a bird or a golf-ball or a rock or a bullet (I mean, really, how many people want to kill me? Probably too many to count...) but didn't find anything. Duh, my blinds & curtain were closed so anything would have caught in the blinds or fallen right to the floor. There was nothing. I whipped around to the other window, threw the blinds up to catch whoever threw whatever at my window. Nobody. And the neighbors dog who barks at everything & everybody was laying down, totally silent. Sooooooooo, do I have a terrorist or have the birds gone stupid? If it's not one thing, it's another...

So back to...the firemen were packing up, but I knew we still needed the dead cat out of the house because the kids didn't need to see that & it would start to smell and leak and gross. So they finally handed me the box of dead cat and we were up by the house and I said in my damsel-in-distress voice, "Can't we just go in for one minute & see the damage?" So they let us and followed us in and O. M. G. 

There's no power to the house so it was pretty dark and by dark I mean everything was black, covered in soot. The kitchen ceiling was ripped down and was now on the floor. There was a big hole in the dining room wall (opposite the wall oven). That was about all we got to see, carrying the dead cat in a box, and then we were ushered out. 

My brother & I ran to the vet to dispose of the cat (I could have cared less - where are the dogs?) and saw Princess, Eddie & Shooter, who were still gray, even though they'd been bathed. Their eyes were bloodshot. They were wheezing a bit. But seemed in good health and very excited to be with us. It was sad to leave. We ran a few more errands (bank to deposit insurance check, checked into hotel) and then back to the house. We wanted to see inside and so we did. 

Back of house - door leading to basement. Shingle/roof debris.

Going in the back door off the deck into the kitchen.

Kitchen. Amazingly, the ceiling fan was still up there.Wall oven to the right of the doorway.

Dining room looking back into kitchen. Hole in this wall, opposite wall oven.

Blinds on the landing going upstairs. Melted like that.

Upstairs ceiling hanging down.

Closer look at hole on dining room side.

Front door broken in.

(My phone camera has no flash so pictures are pretty shitty, but you get it, right? Damage, soot, water, awful). 

And then we came back outside because being upstairs about did me in. I said to my brother on the way up, "Is your upstairs always this hot?" No, no it shouldn't have been that hot. And then our eyes were burning and our throats were stinging and I had to get the hell out of there. I'd never survive a fire. The smoke was just lingering upstairs. And in the basement. Weird. 

Outside we waited for his girlfriend to come get him to go eat and while we were standing there, I said, "Uh, brother, your roof is smoking. I really think you should call someone." So he (finally) did and one guy came out to assess the situation and phoned in all units. For a second time. The streets were all blocked off, full gear and trucks and more water and more foam and more holes in the roof. 

Back side of house - where all the action was...

Well, I'd post more pictures of this but Blogger isn't cooperating, but you get the gist. Smoke. Firemen. Shingles, siding being removed. Foam, foam and more foam. Holes patched with plywood. 

You wouldn't know anything had even happened from the outside of the house. Amazing.

My brother & the clan got their food (finally- they'd been trying to get food all day!) and so I left...around 6, I think? I don't know. I had to get home and finish the two loads of laundry I had going when I left the house. I'd turned the dryer off so those clothes were going to be all musty-smelling and I'd probably have to re-wash everything and while he & I were only in the house a short time, I reeked of smoke and knew I had to wash all those clothes separately from everything else and I desperately needed a shower and *sigh*. I was damn tired. I was so tired I did not re-do my laundry- it smelled fine - though I did wash all the clothes & hat I wore yesterday and I kept the windows rolled down in my car to air it out. My bra still smells faintly of fire. Aw hell. I'm going to go with it. Maybe people will think "She's hot!" 

After the fire yesterday and the hole in my bedroom window, I'm starting to think someone's out to get us. You're not paranoid if they're really out to get you....

Oh, here's a decent article w/ more pics of the house/fire:

KJAN

That's all I got folks. I'm going to go defend my bedroom now from random flying objects.

Sweet Dreams

I hung this last night...

It looks better in real life. I don't know why. In the pictures, it looks so high, so far away, from the headboard, but in reality, it looks just right.

I needed Dad's help in figuring out how to center these things. I've written down his instructions so I'll know for next time. I should make a book of instructions from Dad. OMG, that seems like so much work, lol. Think I'll just stick to calling him and writing down notes on old Maxine calendars and keeping them in a folder.

Anywhoo, Dad could help me with figuring out how to center them length-wise, but I just eye-balled how to center from the top/bottom and whether or not the things were actually hung straight. I'm thinking they're not, but with my crooked face, they look right.

And all night & all day, I've been singing Patsy Cline's "Sweet Dreams (of you)"....so maybe this wasn't such a great idea. I can't sleep if I'm singing in my head (thus no music, ever, when I'm trying to sleep) so I tend to just not look at it...which kind of defeats the purpose, amiright?

Today I made these for my cousin (who just had a baby), my grandma & my aunt, all of who I'll see this week.

Bath Bombs & Bath Soak

Coconut & Peppermint bath bombs

Mmmmmm, luckily, one of the coconut bath bombs didn't come out of the tray properly, so I get one for myself!! They're really quite anti-climatic. I tried one of the peppermint ones that also didn't come out right and while it did fizzle in the bathwater, it didn't last long and that was it. It just fizzled itself out. Boooorrrrrrring. I'd rather scrub myself with sugar scrub during my bath and not have to lotion up afterwards than sit in a not-long-lasting-bubbly-bath. But they're easy to make, they smell delicious and they're great for gifts. If you ever think you're going to get a gift from me, this will be it so act surprised and delighted! And the bath soaks are just as good but also anti-climatic. Apparently, I need to stay busy in my baths & not just relax & enjoy them, lol.

I tried to brush & cut Garfield's fur again today. She's still way too furry and I have a welt on my hand. That's enough of that! I don't know why she doesn't enjoy it more. Chica & Elvis loved being brushed & groomed. I just have to train her to like it...with lots & lots of treats.....just like humans.

Hope you enjoyed your Memorial Day!

You're such a doorknob.

It worked! It really, really worked! And they work! They really, really do!

Side door

Front door

Ahhhh, bliss.

Here's what they looked like before (I forgot to take a "before" picture, so this is one when we first looked at the house).

Bright, shiny brass - blech!

 Now the main doors doorknobs match the rest of the houses doorknobs. Try saying that fast more than once!

I did not paint the latch/plate, as you can tell. I thought that'd be a bit too much. I wasn't even sure this would work, so maybe that's a project for later. Or never. Really, who's going to notice but me? We know where that gets me, though, don't we? I'm sure I'll be painting it soon enough.

And now on to the next project....It's still too wet to do any of the staining/painting projects I have for outside, but I'm sure the hot, hot sun will be here soon enough and then I'll be bitching about that. So, for now, I'm going to enjoy the rainy days and keep busy.....inside.

Happy (?) Memorial Day, ya'all!

"Dear diary, Had to cut a bitch again today..."

This will be a whole lot of nothing and will probably just make you cringe in discomfort...over nothing.

I think I've had two days off from being square this month. I've stopped making little squares on my calendar days to remind me when I was square. I'm going to put a square around the entire month of May.

Today I went to Walmart and stood in front of products I haven't had to purchase in years. YEARS. Why are there so many feminine products? Why do they have to make it so damn confusing? I know what I want! Why isn't it right in front of my face?!? Oh, they don't make those anymore....well, go figure, then.

*sigh*

So hopefully, I don't have to do that again for a long, long time.

I've wondered over the last year what it would be like to go off Depo-Provera. It's what's prevented me from having a period for the last 20 years....with the interminable month of severity that reminds me why I never want to have a period again.  I went off it once, over 10 years ago, and it was the worst - ever. I was back on it within 3 months. But, I'm older and maybe I'm going through menopause and wouldn't that be great? To not be square ever again AND be off birth control I'm not using for birth control anyway because I'm never having sex again?

Ahhhh, I cannot wait for those days!

But, from all the horror experiences I read on-line (there are few, rare "good" experiences) about going off Depo, I think I might just stay on it the rest of my damn life. Even when I'm 80. Don't want to risk it. Can you imagine being 80 and still being square because you just went off Depo and your body thinks it needs to start reproducing? I. Don't. Think. So. And there's weight gain? And depression? And severe headaches? Ummm, I've had enough of that on Depo....I don't need any more off Depo, thank you very f-ing much.

I remember a friend of mine from high school who went into nursing saying to me & my other friend who went on Depo, "What are you guys doing? There's no research on this thing! Do you even know the side-effects?!?" I think our answers were, "Uh, yeah, we don't have our periods AND we don't get pregnant! Best of both worlds!!!" We were so ecstatic. And I won't say stupid, but seriously....shouldn't a doctor by this point in my life said to me, "After 20 years, Amy, maybe you should think about going off this thing..." I did talk about it with my CB doc once and she said it's safer for me (b/c I'm a smoker) and that I could stay on it for as long as I wanted. Ooooooohkay....

But....I'm much more likely to easily break any part of my body. I'm waiting to wake up one morning and realize my hip hurts so bad because it broke in the middle of the night from my own crushing weight. Brittle bones? Um, yeah. I take a multi-vitamin every morning and now I've added quite a bit more dairy to my diet so maybe it's helping, but I doubt it. If they did another bone density test on me today, I'm quite sure I'd have moved past "pre"-osteoporosis and straight to...."You better wrap yourself in bubble wrap, lady!"

I took a break from this post to color my hair. I just got it cut yesterday and mentioned (apologized) to my hairdresser that I haven't colored it in 3 months. It was looking a little....weird. Yes, gray mixed with brown...but it just looked odd. So it was time for some color.
This is the look a person gets when they color their hair for the first time in 3 months:

Oh shit. What did I do? Wait. I kind of like it. Oh yeah, I love it!

So back to Depo vs. probably hemorrhaging to death. I think the answer's pretty easy.

And here are some exciting pictures of my night & morning....

I'm just a bed to her.

Can she even breathe? 

And more adventures this morning, not that you can call the above an "adventure"....

I'm the Queen of THIS mountain!

That looks kinda far to jump...

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

*sigh* Maybe she should just stay off the top of the dresser. How about that? It's amazing she doesn't knock everything over and break shit. She doesn't. It's shocking.

We've been wresting each other all afternoon. I want to cut her fur and she doesn't want me to. Battle of the ages. I wrap her in a towel. I tempt her with treats. I get one shot - ONE - before she growls, bites and shoots out of the towel like a wrapped-too-tight-burrito. And then I have to ignore her and trick her into thinking I've forgotten about the whole thing and ignore her some more and pretend I don't see her and then BAM! She's wrapped into the towel again and doesn't know how she got there and I'm cooing to her, "You're fine. It's fine. If you'd clean your own damn butt, I wouldn't have to torture you like this! You're fine, goddammit!" and snip, snip and she's gone....This is gonna take awhile.

What's coming up in the DIY department? Painting my brass-colored doorknobs!  I hate brass. I hate brass. Have I said I hate brass? So I've googled how to do it and bought the paint today and tomorrow will tackle that project. Pictures to come...

There's a reason a person shouldn't get up at 2AM to go to the bathroom.

And it's this:

Gag! Blech!

I'm doing the "I-hate-bugs" shiver right now. I can't even look at a picture of these disgusting things without gagging and doing a little cringe-worthy-shiver-dance.

*sigh*

So I sprayed it with hairspray so it would slow down enough I could run & get my fly swatter and smash it to smithereens and then flush it down the toilet.

After I killed the bug, I came back into the bedroom and Garfield was staring at the place behind my fan and craft boxes. Just sitting there staring. Then moving to another side and staring. Then coming back to the front and staring. I moved everything away from the wall but didn't see a bug so I moved everything back into place and again, she sat there & stared.

I won't be opening my craft boxes for a few days. Let whatever's in there find its way out.

I was so damn distracted by bugs, I forgot to close the toilet seat. I'm pretty sure Garfield tried to get into the toilet. When there's little pieces of litter in the bowl, I know she's been up to something. Luckily she didn't take a toilet-bath (that I know of...)

At least Garfield's a good warning system, even if there's nothing there. I think I have ghosts. She sees things that I don't.

Needless to say, regardless of whether or not I suffocate Garfield, I'm spraying my entire bathroom with bug spray. Bring on the fog!

"Dear sweatpants & hoodies: Thanks for being there for me. Sincerely, sexy & I know it but too lazy to show it."

It's definitely been a lazy past few days. I have no projects going on. I have nowhere to go. I have not much to do or what I have to do I can't do because it's too wet & rainy outside. It's amazing, truly, that I've even bathed or brushed my teeth the last couple of days. I've felt a lot like this:

When I first saw this movie, those grandparents in bed freaked. me. out. They actually frightened me. I didn't understand the symbolism. Now I do. Thank you Charlie & Willy Wonka.

Last night, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was so ambitious! I was going to get up this morning and go for a walk or maybe workout at home. Yeeeeeeeaaahhhhh, that did not happen. I was lucky to brush my teeth. What makes it worse is that I don't want to bathe until this afternoon because I'm going to my nephew's high school graduation reception...and if I bathe now and wait to get ready later, the hair is flat, the makeup is shiny, I reek of cigarettes and it just never feels right. So I have to bathe just before I go anywhere. I'm so odd.

I woke up at 6:50, turned on the t.v. knowing I'd get to see the last 10 minutes of local news before the Today show and....the Today show was already on. WTH? I didn't know what day it was. I didn't know what day it was because I've had nothing and done not much to distinguish one day from another. Took me awhile to realize it was Saturday. It is Saturday, right?

So I got up, brushed my teeth, washed my face, tried on some clothes to figure out what to wear this afternoon (nothing, I have nothing) and then crawled back into bed to read and cuddle with Garfield. *sigh*

I've been thinking lately....When I was skinny, I didn't know I was skinny. I thought I was fat. Now that I've been fat & am fat, I tell myself - not that I'm skinny - but that "it's not that bad...you're still slender...you can pull that off..." Who am I fooling? Why do our brains mess with us like that?

Tomorrow has to be a different kind of day. I'm going to go back to bed and think on that....

“When words don't come easy, I make do with silence and find something in nothing." ~ Strider Marcus Jones, Poet

Six coats later...

And that's just the bureau! Geez, if I had to paint the dresser too, I'd be done-for. Luckily, the dresser came from Mom & Dad so thank goodness for that!

Am I done? I think I'm done. And now I don't know what to do with myself.

I've made wreaths. I've made flowers out of egg cartons. I've painted furniture. I've painted anything I could think of. I've made laundry detergent. I've cooked. I've baked. I've made sugar scrubs. I've made bath salts. I've made bug spray. I've made bracelets. I've made coffee-filter-flowers. I've upholstered the headboard. I've moved stuff from Mom & Dad's and all around the house. I've planted flowers.

I need something to do.

"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done." - Homer Simpson

It's been a fruitful, busy few days, though when I walked around taking pictures of what I (we) had done, they didn't seem to amount to much. Then why do I feel like I need 24 hours of sleep? 

I started to finally feel better on Wednesday, though now I don't really trust my body anymore. I feel like there's a war going on inside me - one that wants to stay young & reproduce and another that just wants to shut the whole damn thing down. I'm rooting for the latter! Bring on Menopause!!

So, Wednesday afternoon I started to feel ambitious and went down to my insect-infested, spider-webs-in-the-hair basement to scrape the North wall that had a lot of water damage (though no more water..). Then, Thursday, Dad came over and we filled in/over the brick that was exposed. The result?

See all those dark patches? That's us! 

Silly dad thinks we should paint when it dries. What for? So the bugs have something pretty to look at? They get enough of that when they venture upstairs to feast on me. Of course, maybe if the basement were prettier, they'd stay down there! I'm happy with the way it is - no more peeling paint & mortar and chunks of brick on the floor. So much better! 

While Dad was finishing up (I finally gave up because I got pissed that my mortar wasn't sticking. I'm easily frustrated!), I decided to paint my Buddha windchime. It was red. Not anymore!

He's fat & happy, just like me!

And today, Mom & Dad returned from Atl with a surprise! An H.F. Young Clematis for my porch trellis!

It has a ways to go.....

 Yesterday, I started this project:

This is 4 coats of paint. There are probably 2 or 3 more to go.  Painting furniture sucks. I'm painting my bureau (finally) because Mom & Dad are giving me their old big dresser which Mom has already painted white so I needed to get on this and paint it white to match. Garfield is not happy about being shut out of my closet.

I also started this last night....

That's a gallon of freshly-made laundry detergent! Gotta say - my garage smells wonderful! I just have to stir it in another hour or so and transfer it to a jug and do a load of laundry and see how it goes. I don't think I've ever been so excited to do laundry, lol.

And the best for last...

OK - I had absolutely nothing to do with this, but I just had to share...my cousin, Emily and her new baby. I don't even know her name yet! Adorable....and I'm not only celebrating that but also...my biological clock is no longer ticking, so....YEAH!

“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.” ― Jerry Seinfeld

I used a bar of soap and cold water. It was surprisingly easy.  However, today can be the last day I ever have to do that, thank you very much.

I think my  body might be making up for almost 20 years of tricking it into thinking it was in menopause.

I'd welcome "real" menopause at this point.

Oh, and...

"It takes balls to be a woman."

Congratulate me! It's official!

I'm not pregnant. I'm sooooo not pregnant.

I've been square all week. Hence, every post this week that includes multiple F-bombs. I think it's safe to say, I will never be trusted with the nuclear warhead key....or even a bb gun.

This morning, I was supposed to wake up at 6 to have plenty of time to leave at 8 to go to M'town to see grandma and my oh-so-pregnant cousin.

Instead, I was woken up at 5 by tremendous pain. I took 2 Pamprin about 5:30. I passed out in the bathroom around 6. I laid on the ice cold and rock hard bathroom floor sweating my ass off for awhile. I thought I was going to throw up. I would have welcomed throwing up. Instead, it felt like my uterus was trying to exit my body, permanently.

I thought I was dying.

I called my parents to let them know I wouldn't be able to go with them today. No answer. I called again to tell them "I think something is really wrong..." I called again. And again. I almost called Shan to come get me in the ambulance and rush me to emergency because I was hemorrhaging and surely that couldn't be a good thing.

Instead, I just laid on the cold floor until the sweating stopped and I didn't feel like I was going to throw up anymore and then I crawled into bed and curled into a ball.

My dad called about an hour after my first call to them.

And this is for him.....with all my love :)

I was finally able to eat something without worrying about whether or not I was going to keep it down. Once I realized I didn't have H1N1 or the bird flu or human flu and that it was a "woman" thing, it was clear I could eat...So I had frozen waffles. Today must be my cheating day. I just couldn't bear to stand at the stove and the thought of meat makes me want to hurl. Could I just eat 50 candy bars today? Would that be ok? Yes, it would but it would require me to go out in public and that just isn't going to happen. Not today. Who knows what the hell will happen? Passing out on the grubby Kum & Go floor does not appeal to me. My own litter-strewn bathroom floor was pretty disgusting. Ever wake up & have litter sweat-glued to your forehead? Gross.

And then I slept. Off & on until 1. I'm still hit with crushing pain and I'm constantly in the bathroom (with my puke-bucket, just in case) but now that I know I'm not going to die - I'm not, right? This is totally normal? I don't know how women do it on a monthly basis. I don't ever want to feel like this again...and no, I don't think it's normal at all. In fact, I know it's not. This is what the doctors would certainly call abnormal.

At least now I know not to bother calling the folks. I could have been dead on the floor for all they'd know. Garfield eating my nose off my face. Nobody would find me for weeks and my parents live exactly ONE BLOCK away. *sigh*

Oh, but you have a cold.....lol

"Forgive me if I snap at you. I'm myself today." -Maxine

This shit pisses me off.

That is not my table. That is, however, my bedroom window & my fucking yard.

This is why I keep my blinds closed on that entire side of my house. This is why I don't want to know what the fuck they're doing over there because if I don't know, then I don't get pissed about it and I don't have to do anything about it.

I want to go over and ask them what the fuck they're thinking. Except that's the problem....I'm pretty sure I'd just drop the F-bomb a thousand times and then I'd be that neighbor. However, if I don't address the problem, they'll just keep inching closer & closer & closer until I'm pushed out of my damn house.

I hate neighbors.

*sigh*

OK, I just went over there and was so sweet & nice. I asked, "Hey so & so, did you know your patio table is in my yard?" And she said, "yeah, we keep forgetting to move it..." and I asked, "Did you move it there to mow...(& here I made a quirky face, like I was confused..) because it's not usually there, is it?" And she said, "no, no, no, we just moved it to mow and we'll get it out of your yard."

So there.

I'm sure they think I'm a control-freak, type-A, freakazoid who gets bent out of shape over nothing.....and they'd be absolutely, 100% correct.

Stay out of my fucking space!

I'm going to go smoke a pack of cigarettes.

"Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking so good either."

Man, I don't think I've dropped the F-bomb as much as I did yesterday in a long, long time. I. WAS. FRUSTRATED! I got so pissed off at the whole digital-cable-tv-vcr-combo that I finally just tossed the remote across the room. Tossed. I didn't throw it, though I really wanted to.

I've never understood that. People (men, mostly) get so angry they punch a wall or break a vase or cause some other destruction.....usually to their own property. And that's what I don't understand. Trust me, I understand anger. Boy, do I ever...but I don't want to destroy my stuff. You punched a hole in the wall. Super! Now you have to drywall, spackle, paint, etc, etc, etc. How dull. No, I internalize my anger & release it at night in my dreams, waking up completely refreshed.

Until I realize I have to put batteries in my old remote because the new DTA remote's volume is already at its max and I can barely hear the damn t.v. in the living room and then I break a fingernail getting old batteries out of the old remote because it isn't working and I put in new ones and those don't work either (can you feel the frustration building?) so I just about pound the damn remote on the counter to get the new batteries out of the old remote but then realize that would be counterproductive and then lo & behold an old-old remote with batteries already in it adjusts the volume.

*sigh*

And I still can't get my vcr to work with this damn new DTA shit. Now my VCR thinks I only have 2 channels so I can't even choose the channel I want to record. Not that it would record. Nooooo, it only records static. Even after Dad came over to see if he could get it to work. Either we're both idiots or this shit just isn't going to work.

While that pisses me off, I realize I've lived without a VCR for a long, long time....first, at my apartment, because I had it on the wrong channel (duh) for years so I thought I couldn't record anything....and then because all of the VHS tapes I had were very old and recorded poorly so I didn't even plug in my VCR at the new house for a year or more....And then I plugged it into my bedroom t.v. and bought new tapes and have loved being able to watch one show & tape another to watch later....but now, I guess, I'll just have to let that luxury go and is that really going to drive me to drink? No, no it won't. There are so many other things to drive me to drink - that one's pretty low on the list.

Mom & Dad are getting a new bedroom set delivered today so I got their old boxspring & mattress! Oooh boy! Now, my boxspring & mattress were old, relatively speaking. Old compared to Mom & Dad's. I think they were my brother's and when he was in Maine and bought himself a bed - or maybe it was when he moved to CB - my bed was so shitty, I got his. He originally got it when he was 14 (like all of us kids) so it's gotta be 19 years old? Is that right? Somewhere around there. So this is certainly an upgrade. Until Dad & I lay down the boxspring and he brings in some thick blankets and says, "Mom lays these on top of the box spring because there's a dip...." Give me your old, your tired, your broken down mattress....I'll, apparently, take anything. I haven't tested it out yet but Garfield's having a hey day tearing through the house, jumping onto the bed, rolling around on it like a dog rolls around on dead things. I think she smells dog and for some reason rolls around to get their scent on her or to replace their scent with hers? I don't know but every time the dogs have come over to the house, I find Garfield sniffing at where they've been and then throwing herself down onto the spot and rolling around. It's weird. Regardless, I'm sure the bed is going to be superior to what I was sleeping on & while I joke, I really am appreciative. I don't think my hips & back could take much more of that old bed. I can't wait to go to sleep!

At least today (so far) I don't want to tear somebody's head off.  For me, that's a good day.